Feeling valued is an exhilarating feeling! When someone says, “Thanks, I really appreciate what you did for me”, this compliment feels wonderful! When someone doesn’t notice the hard work and effort you put into a task or a relationship, the result could be devastating. A person can turn feelings of worthlessness into feelings of being valued to increase the body’s energy level! This can be done through meditation and faith. It is possible to feel valued! People who feel valued have increased well-being and better interpersonal relationships.
Over the past few decades, numerous studies have been performed showing the emotional benefits of receiving thank-you notes. Most people tend to underestimate the positive response of the thank-you note recipient.
“After receiving thank-you notes and filling out questionnaires about how it felt to get them, many said they were ‘ecstatic,’ scoring the happiness rating at 4 of 5. The senders typically guessed they’d evoke a 3.”1
According to this “ecstatic” response of four out of five people receiving thank-you notes in this particular study done by Amit Kumar, feeling valued is certainly a high energy emotion, eliciting an amazingly positive effect on the health and well-being both for both the sender and the recipient.
Besides expressing gratitude, there are a variety of ways of expressing validation when talking with a person.
- Face the person that is speaking
- Pay close attention to the speaker
- Empathize and understand the person
- Summarize back to the person what he just said
- Offer supportive advice
- Affirm ideas with kind comments
- Extend a nice gesture like a touch on the shoulder
Steps to Feeling Valued
First, write a list of areas where you do feel valued. Then write a list of places where you don’t feel valued. Analyze why you don’t feel valued in various aspects of life. For example, “I feel valued at work, but I don’t feel valued by one of my children.”
Secondly, start with the priority area from your list where you’d like to feel more valued. If it involves another person, it is okay to ask the person a few questions to find out why they are not grateful for your relationship. For example, you might ask, “Why don’t you say thank-you when I make lunch for you?” The response might be, “Because you never make me things I really like to eat.” Given the new information, a person can certainly increase their value by following the directives of the other person in the relationship.
Continue going through the list until every area of your life has added value. A person’s value builds day by day throughout an entire lifetime. If you are young, don’t expect to have the same value of a mature older person with years of experience in life. Accept where you are at right now and build more value as time passes.
Thirdly, if a sudden feeling of worthlessness arises, meditate and turn the devastating feeling into a positive value statement. For example, “I feel valued when I no longer believe I feel worthless.” According to Scripture, a person may always hold on to the truth that they are highly valued as a special child of God.
Valued with God’s Love
“Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!” (I John 3:1)
“Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins? And not one of them is forgotten before God. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:6-7)
“And behold, there was a man who had a withered hand. And they asked Him, saying, ‘Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath?’—that they might accuse Him. Then He said to them, ‘What man is there among you who has one sheep, and if it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will not lay hold of it and lift it out? Of how much more value then is a man than a sheep? Therefore it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath.’ Then He said to the man, ‘Stretch out your hand.’ And he stretched it out, and it was restored as whole as the other.” (Matthew 12:10-14)
“The tongue of the righteous is choice silver;
The heart of the wicked is worth little.” (Proverbs 10:20)
Children of God are truly valued, while on the contrary, wicked people have little value. All people are made in God’s image, so all people have some value, but the righteous hold much more value than the unrighteous according to this Proverb. Take some time and reflect on the wonderful feeling of being highly valued by God!